I am not filled with an abundance of emotion when reading most things regardless of how much I enjoy them but, reading this made me tear up at times both at the obvious sorrow and at the hope of it all. (You don't know me but that is pretty big and more than once no less, I am impressed) You made something more than an LI delivery device, solid read. I am looking forward to seeing how it unfolds :)
Thank you so much, that is a wonderful compliment! ❤️ I’m glad my story resonated with you, and also that you saw the hope within it. Despite the harshness of The City and the tragedy in chapter 10, Viatica is ultimately about hope and I’m glad it came through like that. Thank you again!
I just wanted to come here and say this IF literally introduced me to the genre of interactive fiction as a whole. I feel like the way you portray Robin's gender is extremely touching - especially in a universe where the concept of gender is so rigid. (even more so than the current world that we live in)
The traumatic experiences with the chamber is not only something that is extremely haunting but is also something I can empathise with Robin over, not only is having you sexual agency revoked horrible but the complicated and dysphoric feeling some non-binary and gender diverse people have makes navigating sexuality even more sensitive.
I absolutely adore Robin, I want to give you all the kudos for creating a non-binary character that feels safe and carefully loved - not only by me but also by you the creator.
Your writing has dug itself into my heart in a way that is so personal and pretty much impossible to accurately describe - which is why it has taken me like 20 days to actually write what I would consider my opinion on your labor of love.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this! ❤️ I am so humbled by and grateful for what you wrote!
Robin is the first non-binary character I’ve written and it was very important to me that they were represented well and with care, so it means so much for you to tell me that! My son, who has gone through his own gender identity journey, actually helped me a lot with Robin’s character.
I’m very glad you wrote this, especially after 20 days. Thank you!
recently found this through one of the acc's i follow adding it to their list and i was really lovin' it from the start. lion immediately got me hooked. can't get enough of him. chapter 10 really fucked me up ngl. this is the only IF ive truly cried. like not just tears but actual sobbing. you make the characters feel so alive and easy to connect with. it truly felt like i was right there, experiencing everything.
thank you for this wonderful experience and the rest that will come. stay safe and take care of yourself! 🖤🖤
Thank you for your kind words, that is quite the compliment! I knew chapter 10 would be difficult but I’m glad you felt connected to the characters and that it hit the way it needed to. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
I'm not nearly done with the demo, but I will say the way this is written is a breath of fresh air. I have a really hard time reading, both on an attention level and on an actual comprehension level. Sometimes, it gets so bad that I get migraines, but the way this story was formatted made it very easy for me! No risk of tears for the first time in a while, which I'll have to say thank you for!
I would also like to say to anyone reading this that everything I said does not detract from the actual quality of the writing. While it is digestable I think it is also very good at conveying what it needs to convey and very easy to immerse yourself in. Please do not think the writing is dumbed down in any way, it's accessibility does not detract from it's enjoyablity.
Oh weird. Can you tell me where you were when you saw this? And were you playing from a save or starting fresh? I re-uploaded the game a couple days ago so an old save might not work and you may have to restart. I’ll dig into this tonight after work and hopefully get it sorted!
EDIT: I haven't been able to recreate this error. I re-uploaded the game 2 days ago so if you were in progress I think you'll have to restart. You should be able to refresh the page until you get the restart option, or you may have to clear your browser cache. Sorry for the trouble!
Hello again. Try refreshing the page or clearing your cache. I think you got this error because I uploaded the game in the midst of your playthrough. Sorry for the trouble!
heyy so I've played almost all of the games you've recommended on your page and we absolutely have the same taste... i need more 😭😭 they're all so good 😞 please add more games on there if you know any!!
Hello! I’m glad you like my selection and that we have similar taste! 🥰 I just added 2 more, a VN called “Beyond the Mist: Beginnings” and an IF called “Bladeweaver.” There’s also a VN I haven’t tried yet but I’ve been keeping an eye on called “Made Marion” that looks very good; I’ve been waiting for more routes to open before trying/buying it. The writer is very active on tumblr and it’s coming along so should have another route soon!
I should have prefaced this by saying I’m really picky as to what I recommend. I’m hyper critical of my own writing and I do tend to hold others to that same standard, unfair as it may be. I’ve read several IFs on here that are good or decent, but the writing is a little unpolished. Or, and this is a big one, they’re abandoned. I can’t in good conscience recommend an IF that will never be finished. Everything I recommend is either complete or actively being worked on.
That being said, you can be sure that everything on my recommended list is not just good, but excellent, in my humble opinion. 2 thumbs WAY up!
Itch went weird on me while I was trying to reply to the below post, and I think I deleted it by accident. My apologies to whomever that was! You asked about saves so here’s my reply…
The game saves directly to your browser as you play, so as long as you don’t clear your cache, you can pick up where you left off. I go into the save system in more detail in one of my dev logs if you’re curious. Thank you!
Builder had a hard enough time when I learned to swear and use contractions. Wait until my Healer learns slang. "Robin is a total snack, like they have a face card for real. Their rizz, out of this world. I'm lucky to have a partner like them, cause they have major gyatt."
so, i replayed the game and since i dont spoil too much:
you siad "please dont hate me." well i dont hate you, but i hope you are for what you did. ;)
joking aside, i really like your writing style nd the story in total. like someone already said, i found this game in the comments of another one and im glad i did. for me its important that i, as the reader, am able to insert myself into the story, which works wonderful with this one.
a bit spoilery for chapter 10:
one suggestion: my personal thought is that chapter 10 could benefit from a trigger warning. but since i personally dont need any, i dont think i could judge it at all.
i maybe found a bug: in chapter 3 when you reach the circle and prepare to go down, if you choose to ignore the builders hand and bravel venture forth, the next page calls him Lion. the page after that, he is called builder again.
maybe i misremember/missed something, but i dont think that he has intorduced/named himself, right?
another typo: if you decide to share your thoughts about the guard with Heron, in the second passage, one sentence starts with "My being a healer. ..." unless its intentionel, it should be "me".
oh sorry then. english is not my native language so it sounded a little off to me.
anothe rsmall bug: when i finished chapter 9 and click on "continue ith chapter 10" i got an error message with 2 options: return one page or hard reset. i chose the return one page option and then it worked fine.
I found you through scout comments like many others, and am blown away by your work. Utterly heartbroken with this last chapter, a testament to the world youve built and the characters youve crafted
me trying to contain my emotional outbursts so that my family doesn't see me screaming at a black screen of text
ps this whole work is so beautiful, i'm so thankful i did my annual grief visit to the Scout comment section to see this recommended there and thankful to you for writing this :')
Lol, my apologies to your family. Thank you so much! You’re the third person to mention finding me through the Scout comments, I really appreciate you giving my story a try! ❤️
I just finished chapter 10 and you were right -- i am CRYING and i Blame You!
Really, wonderful chapter. "We will not be a lesson for them" and reading the note Bison wrote combined made me start crying like a little baby and the end with a kind of turn around on the usual Robin-MC dynamic with them offering you the comfort and being a kind of stronghold was sooo good i dont know how to describe it. You emotionally devastated me with this one and ill never forgive you. I knew something bad was going to happen but I didnt expect it to hurt so bad!
Hello again, scenecorez! I knew you were dreading chapter 10 so I really appreciate you taking the chance to read it. I accept full blame. I’m glad you liked it, especially Robin’s bit. And I will fully make it up to you in chapter 11, especially if you’re on Robin’s route. My loyal Robinmancers have been waiting patiently for their special moment and it comes next!
"AHAHAHAH IT'S FINEEEE it's not a good story if it doesn't reduce you to an emotional wreck, in a way or another" -my best friend Bonnie
And I absolutely agree with them. The fact that it managed to resonate with us enough to bring out an emotional response means that the story did its job well. In spite of the state I was left in I fully enjoyed it! :D
(In regards to chapter 10) How... How could you do this to me emotionally?! Ferret is who I chose, so now my brain, and heart are absolutely all over the place.
Oh! This was interesting! Love the concept. You see a lot of post-apocalyptic premises, but this one seems especially dreary and I love, love, Love the idea of people being raised without words/not knowing or understanding their own emotions. The Chamber! Goodness! I romanced Ferret myself (we love a cold, strong woman who’s ready to throw Hands) - and I’m looking forward to how that turns out.
If I could give a bit of constructive feedback? And I mean this in the kindest, most respectful way possible as I really like your idea and want to see it shine. (I also realize it’s a WIP) The transition from barely knowing words/feelings, to learning/experiencing them felt too brief for me. I didn’t get the Fullness of that struggle and it seems like my MC is more emotionally mature than they should be? I would really love both Ferret and MC trying to figure that out when they’ve been wholly denied it, not even knowing the concept of love/intimacy beyond books. Being unable to put words to things is something I’d like to see more as well. Getting frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, etc. If there’s physical intimacy (esp with Ferret) there should be so much trauma there when they only know that Chamber.
On that note, I felt a lot of the MC’s growth was less my choices through actions, and more plot-driven. I don’t really feel I had a hand in how they turned out, thus far. Maybe this will be more fleshed out in time/ this is just a ‘prologue’ for the ‘main’ story - but thought it worth mentioning.
I do hope that was helpful and I wish you all the best with this awesome Project!
Hello! Thank you for reading my story and for taking the time to give thoughtful feedback. I don’t mind, and I appreciate the tact and care you put into it! It’s difficult finding a good pace for the story—trying to give adequate time for growth yet also not belaboring the point.
Your MC is a bit more emotionally mature than other workers, due to the fact that you’re a healer. You’ve had more contact with others, both physical and spoken, than any other worker in any other job. Also, healers are the only workers who have mentors, so while the contact would have been the absolute minimum, it’s still more than most receive.
I don’t think that the chamber necessarily equates to heavy trauma, as that signifies some kind of emotional response. Certainly some would, as in Robin’s case, but most workers are simply numb—just as you don’t feel love, you also don’t feel the absence of it. But Ferret definitely has resentment over it. Her intimate scene is actually in the next chapter which drops this Thursday, so I’m curious what you’ll think.
And you’re correct, a lot of the choices are, by necessity, plot driven. In those instances I’ve tried to give a choice as to how you approach them—the action will have to occur either way, but your feelings going in make the difference. I can certainly try to add more choices like that.
Also, some of the scenes are a result of previous choices you’ve made. For example, whether or not you save the book from the fires, or how you respond to the idea of keeping away from the Circle for 2 weeks. Those and other scenes play out differently based on the persona you’ve cultivated.
But erm, this isn’t a prologue, lol, it is the main story. It’s actually close to conclusion. 😅
Thank you for responding! I’m glad you found no offense in my feedback; I went to art school and had my soul pile driven into the Abyss with the harshness of criticism, so I do value constructive critiques. I know this your baby, but it truly is a compliment I said anything at all!
That makes sense re: MC’s emotional intelligence/maturity given their profession. I actually like that! Perhaps I was confused since I thought Builders, etc. worked in groups as well - only Burners being the most ‘solitary’ in their work. But they also don’t talk, right? So even then, the human interaction is very remedial in my understanding. Maybe there’s an idea of ‘care’ for not wanting patients to get hurt, but love as a concept, for example, would still be difficult (it’s difficult for us now and we have so much more freedom than them!). I more so just wanted to see more of a struggle to coming to terms with a new range of emotions when their default seems to be primarily numb, anger, fear; or having the choice for it to be a struggle for your MC. The yellow heart/red heart could maybe be expanded for that?
Fair enough for the chamber. I guess that’s just additional choice I’d like to have. My MC seems they can hardly talk about it/want to think of it (and they’re also a woman) so that equated trauma for me - heavy or otherwise is interpretation because what do we consider ‘traumatic’ — it’s different for all of us. Numb could be an option, but given MC is more emotionally mature, I’d think that incite something. Could we decide that?
Also - sorry, I more so didn’t want to assume: a lot of IF writers do a first draft and then further flesh out later. That’s great if you’re almost finished! Thank you for considering what I said! Looking forward to Ferret chapter!
Hello, again! Yep, I remember my creative writing workshops from university, much of which I think I've repressed, lol.
Ahh, I see what you mean about the chamber and I can definitely try to expand on reactionary choices more. You weren't wrong when you thought a lot of this was plot-based. It's my first interactive fiction and it was based on a novella I wrote, so I often find myself drifting back into novel writing versus IF.
No worries on the first draft comment! I'm still new to the community and beginning to see a lot of WIPs and first drafts now, too. Especially since I created a Tumblr account. My interactive fiction world just opened up! 😳
Thank you again for explaining and for giving my story a try!
There is no save button, but the game does save your progress to your browser. One of my devlogs goes into it in more detail if you’re curious. I hope you’ll still enjoy it without that functionality!
I stumbled across this looking for new IFs and I’m literally obsessed <3 I love ur writing, the world building and everything ab the characters you’ve created!! Heron and Lion have my heart <3 I’ve replayed it sm times already
Aww, I'm glad you found my IF, thank you! Lion and Heron are both difficult to resist. 😏 I'm happy to hear you enjoyed their routes and that you've replayed it!
This is an excellent WIP and I can't wait to see where you go with it. I've played Heron's route so far and will be playing through the others' as well, there's seriously no one I don't like, which is a first. Your writing is extremely good, especially your descriptions. If there's one extremely minor request I might make, would you be willing to include Starling as one of the name options the players can pick from? Haha, I'm only asking because the common starling is my favorite bird and I've got one as a pet that I've raised from a fledgeling that I found on the ground.
Hello and thank you! That's a wonderful compliment regarding the ROs, and I'm glad you enjoyed Heron's route!
I'm hesitant to include another bird name because I have so many already: Robin, Heron, Eagle, Lark, Wren, Hawk. I'm trying to keep a balanced selection and I've already got several on the drawing room floor, I'm sorry! I could easily go overboard on the birds if I allowed myself, lol. I absolutely love the fact that you've raised one, that's adorable! 🥹
Hey there and you're welcome~! Haha no problem at all, I completely get why you'd be hesitant in hindsight and it's a very valid reason~ No need to apologize, seriously, it was just a "hey, I wonder," sort of question, not one with any weight behind it at all :D It's hard not to, considering how incredible most birds really are~ Thank you! I've taken in and raised several unusual animals since I was a kid, comes from living in the country most of my life (and desert, now. XD) I've had Hector (my Starling, who's with me for as long as he wants to be,) a fruit bat I rescued from my pool and kept until it was able to fly again, tons of garter, red and blue racer snakes, a possum and a couple of skunks. ^.^ Now, it's just Hector, Twinkie (she's a tuxedo cat I've rased from a stray kitten) and a three-legged turtle named Yurtle. :D
Anyway, before I keep rambling nonsensically about animals and whatnot: seriously, the post-apocalyptic genre (and all its subgenres,) your way of writing and characterization is excellent; you've got yourself a new (pain in the ass, mind you :P) follower~
You’re not rambling, no worries, thank you for sharing! And a fruit bat? 😨 I grew up a city girl, any bats or snakes I saw were in the zoo, lol.
And you’re not a pain at all, not in the least! Thank you for being a follower and taking the time to write. It honestly means a great deal to me and I’m very appreciative! 🥹❤️
this was amazing! i love the writing and plot so much, i can't wait to read more of this!! i eat the childhood friend trope everytime, it's too good and Heron is adorable! thank you so much for your hardwork on this
This IF is incredibly written and is definitely one of my favourites I've read through on itch.io. So excited to see how you continue the story as I find the plot really interesting and unique! Loving Lion btw ^-^
AHHHHH I can't deal with this! Such a beautifully written story. The way you write is so immersive I completely lost myself in the world. Your characters are wonderful (Heron, beloved <3) thank you so much for sharing this!!
Thank you, that’s a wonderful compliment! I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed the story and characters. I love hearing how many people like Heron! He and Robin are the most changed from the original and it was a lot of fun developing both of them as ROs. Thanks again!
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I am not filled with an abundance of emotion when reading most things regardless of how much I enjoy them but, reading this made me tear up at times both at the obvious sorrow and at the hope of it all. (You don't know me but that is pretty big and more than once no less, I am impressed) You made something more than an LI delivery device, solid read. I am looking forward to seeing how it unfolds :)
Thank you so much, that is a wonderful compliment! ❤️ I’m glad my story resonated with you, and also that you saw the hope within it. Despite the harshness of The City and the tragedy in chapter 10, Viatica is ultimately about hope and I’m glad it came through like that. Thank you again!
i love your storyyy<33 but whyyyy??? i love bison and fawnnnn, noooooo :'((( i'll be sad in a while :((
I’m sorry, it had to be done! 😭 But I’m glad you liked the characters and the story!
I just wanted to come here and say this IF literally introduced me to the genre of interactive fiction as a whole. I feel like the way you portray Robin's gender is extremely touching - especially in a universe where the concept of gender is so rigid. (even more so than the current world that we live in)
The traumatic experiences with the chamber is not only something that is extremely haunting but is also something I can empathise with Robin over, not only is having you sexual agency revoked horrible but the complicated and dysphoric feeling some non-binary and gender diverse people have makes navigating sexuality even more sensitive.
I absolutely adore Robin, I want to give you all the kudos for creating a non-binary character that feels safe and carefully loved - not only by me but also by you the creator.
Your writing has dug itself into my heart in a way that is so personal and pretty much impossible to accurately describe - which is why it has taken me like 20 days to actually write what I would consider my opinion on your labor of love.
<3 thank you
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this! ❤️ I am so humbled by and grateful for what you wrote!
Robin is the first non-binary character I’ve written and it was very important to me that they were represented well and with care, so it means so much for you to tell me that! My son, who has gone through his own gender identity journey, actually helped me a lot with Robin’s character.
I’m very glad you wrote this, especially after 20 days. Thank you!
recently found this through one of the acc's i follow adding it to their list and i was really lovin' it from the start. lion immediately got me hooked. can't get enough of him. chapter 10 really fucked me up ngl. this is the only IF ive truly cried. like not just tears but actual sobbing. you make the characters feel so alive and easy to connect with. it truly felt like i was right there, experiencing everything.
thank you for this wonderful experience and the rest that will come. stay safe and take care of yourself! 🖤🖤
Thank you for your kind words, that is quite the compliment! I knew chapter 10 would be difficult but I’m glad you felt connected to the characters and that it hit the way it needed to. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
I will, and take care of yourself, too! 🫶🏻
Guys I'm terrified for chapter 10 js judging by the comments brb future me how scary was it 🙏
CLOSEST I HAVE EVER GOTTEN TO ACTUAL TEARS WHILE PLAYS N ITCH IO GAME HOLY SHIT NO WHY DID U HAVE TO DO BISON AND FAWN LIKE THAT 💔
Believe me, it hurt to write it! 😭 But it was necessary. Thank you for giving my story a try, despite your apprehension, lol.
Its fine lol that chapter aside its an amazing game cant wait to continue it :3
I'm not nearly done with the demo, but I will say the way this is written is a breath of fresh air. I have a really hard time reading, both on an attention level and on an actual comprehension level. Sometimes, it gets so bad that I get migraines, but the way this story was formatted made it very easy for me! No risk of tears for the first time in a while, which I'll have to say thank you for!
I would also like to say to anyone reading this that everything I said does not detract from the actual quality of the writing. While it is digestable I think it is also very good at conveying what it needs to convey and very easy to immerse yourself in. Please do not think the writing is dumbed down in any way, it's accessibility does not detract from it's enjoyablity.
I’m very glad to hear that, thank you!
i have been getting the errors for the past 3days now I can't restart or go back🥲
Oh weird. Can you tell me where you were when you saw this? And were you playing from a save or starting fresh? I re-uploaded the game a couple days ago so an old save might not work and you may have to restart. I’ll dig into this tonight after work and hopefully get it sorted!
EDIT: I haven't been able to recreate this error. I re-uploaded the game 2 days ago so if you were in progress I think you'll have to restart. You should be able to refresh the page until you get the restart option, or you may have to clear your browser cache. Sorry for the trouble!
When I was trying to read the new chapter those options came up and nothing is still working I can't restart it
Hello again. Try refreshing the page or clearing your cache. I think you got this error because I uploaded the game in the midst of your playthrough. Sorry for the trouble!
Nothing has changed🥲 but it's alright i love this game so much can't wait for more❤️
heyy so I've played almost all of the games you've recommended on your page and we absolutely have the same taste... i need more 😭😭 they're all so good 😞 please add more games on there if you know any!!
Hello! I’m glad you like my selection and that we have similar taste! 🥰 I just added 2 more, a VN called “Beyond the Mist: Beginnings” and an IF called “Bladeweaver.” There’s also a VN I haven’t tried yet but I’ve been keeping an eye on called “Made Marion” that looks very good; I’ve been waiting for more routes to open before trying/buying it. The writer is very active on tumblr and it’s coming along so should have another route soon!
I should have prefaced this by saying I’m really picky as to what I recommend. I’m hyper critical of my own writing and I do tend to hold others to that same standard, unfair as it may be. I’ve read several IFs on here that are good or decent, but the writing is a little unpolished. Or, and this is a big one, they’re abandoned. I can’t in good conscience recommend an IF that will never be finished. Everything I recommend is either complete or actively being worked on.
That being said, you can be sure that everything on my recommended list is not just good, but excellent, in my humble opinion. 2 thumbs WAY up!
Itch went weird on me while I was trying to reply to the below post, and I think I deleted it by accident. My apologies to whomever that was! You asked about saves so here’s my reply…
The game saves directly to your browser as you play, so as long as you don’t clear your cache, you can pick up where you left off. I go into the save system in more detail in one of my dev logs if you’re curious. Thank you!
Builder had a hard enough time when I learned to swear and use contractions. Wait until my Healer learns slang. "Robin is a total snack, like they have a face card for real. Their rizz, out of this world. I'm lucky to have a partner like them, cause they have major gyatt."
I wrote this and then played the newest chapter. Not sigma dude. No sigma rizzler at all.
Omg, I’m DYING, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard!! 🤣 I had to ask my 17 year old to translate this!
Shit... way to break my heart 💔Don't take me away from Ferret, please.
Amazing work as always, I can't wait to see how they can recover from this. Can't believe there's only two chapters left... 😢
Hi Power! I’m sorry. 😭 And I won’t, I promise! Thanks for always returning! ❤️
so, i replayed the game and since i dont spoil too much:
you siad "please dont hate me." well i dont hate you, but i hope you are for what you did. ;)
joking aside, i really like your writing style nd the story in total. like someone already said, i found this game in the comments of another one and im glad i did. for me its important that i, as the reader, am able to insert myself into the story, which works wonderful with this one.
a bit spoilery for chapter 10:
one suggestion: my personal thought is that chapter 10 could benefit from a trigger warning. but since i personally dont need any, i dont think i could judge it at all.
Thanks for taking a chance and reading my story! I do have the content warnings on the game page which mention the trigger points.
hi everyone.
i maybe found a bug: in chapter 3 when you reach the circle and prepare to go down, if you choose to ignore the builders hand and bravel venture forth, the next page calls him Lion. the page after that, he is called builder again.
maybe i misremember/missed something, but i dont think that he has intorduced/named himself, right?
Oh crud! Thank you for pointing that out! That option was added recently, after I've already gotten used to calling him Lion.
I’ll change and update it, thank you for letting me know!
no problem
another typo: if you decide to share your thoughts about the guard with Heron, in the second passage, one sentence starts with "My being a healer. ..." unless its intentionel, it should be "me".
That is intentional. Both versions are grammatically correct. 😊
oh sorry then. english is not my native language so it sounded a little off to me.
anothe rsmall bug: when i finished chapter 9 and click on "continue ith chapter 10" i got an error message with 2 options: return one page or hard reset. i chose the return one page option and then it worked fine.
I think that error happened because I re-uploaded the story while you were playing it 😅 Should be fine otherwise!
And no worries, I appreciate the feedback, thank you!
I found you through scout comments like many others, and am blown away by your work. Utterly heartbroken with this last chapter, a testament to the world youve built and the characters youve crafted
Thank you so much! Thank you for giving my story a try and for the lovely comment! ❤️
me trying to contain my emotional outbursts so that my family doesn't see me screaming at a black screen of text
ps this whole work is so beautiful, i'm so thankful i did my annual grief visit to the Scout comment section to see this recommended there and thankful to you for writing this :')
Lol, my apologies to your family. Thank you so much! You’re the third person to mention finding me through the Scout comments, I really appreciate you giving my story a try! ❤️
Do you think this is funny, making me sob my way through this chapter?
Nuuuuu 😭😅
It can only get better from here!
I just finished chapter 10 and you were right -- i am CRYING and i Blame You!
Really, wonderful chapter. "We will not be a lesson for them" and reading the note Bison wrote combined made me start crying like a little baby and the end with a kind of turn around on the usual Robin-MC dynamic with them offering you the comfort and being a kind of stronghold was sooo good i dont know how to describe it. You emotionally devastated me with this one and ill never forgive you. I knew something bad was going to happen but I didnt expect it to hurt so bad!
Hello again, scenecorez! I knew you were dreading chapter 10 so I really appreciate you taking the chance to read it. I accept full blame. I’m glad you liked it, especially Robin’s bit. And I will fully make it up to you in chapter 11, especially if you’re on Robin’s route. My loyal Robinmancers have been waiting patiently for their special moment and it comes next!
Sharing is caring and as such,
The utter turmoil and mess that chapter 10 left me in was shared with my best friend 🥰
Devasted me (and now my friend) emotionally to the point of tears ... *chef kiss* amaizing writing 👌
Thank you for sharing my story with your friend! And my humblest apologies to the both of you! 😭
aham *pulls out chat* and I quote
"AHAHAHAH IT'S FINEEEE it's not a good story if it doesn't reduce you to an emotional wreck, in a way or another" -my best friend Bonnie
And I absolutely agree with them. The fact that it managed to resonate with us enough to bring out an emotional response means that the story did its job well. In spite of the state I was left in I fully enjoyed it! :D
Can't wait for the next chapter ☆
OUGH I AM SO UNWELL. FAWN AND BISON PLEASE COME BACK NOOOOOOOOOO (ugly crying as we speak)
I’m sorry, Angel! Know that I’m ugly crying with you. 😭
Chapter 10 may have made me take damage over time, but GOD. It's so devastating but also so good. Please excuse me as I go cry.
Welcome back, Cosmo! I knew it’d be a tough chapter, and I appreciate that you still felt it to be a good one. ❤️
oh okay so its like that huh? its like that? well fine then. 10/10
I love this comment so much! 😅 😂 Sorry, tranquility!
(In regards to chapter 10) How... How could you do this to me emotionally?! Ferret is who I chose, so now my brain, and heart are absolutely all over the place.
I’m sorry! But at least it ended with Ferret, right? I promise the rest will not be such an emotional roller coaster. Thank you for reading!
hey what the fuck (read chapter 10, what)
😅
Easily 10/10 cannot wait for chapter 11 😻
Thank you! I’m aiming to release chapter 11 on 11/11, cause again, I’m a dork.
The update date is actually on my birthday this is crazy lol it's like a birthday present
Happy birthday! I hope you find it to be a good present! 😁
Oh! This was interesting! Love the concept. You see a lot of post-apocalyptic premises, but this one seems especially dreary and I love, love, Love the idea of people being raised without words/not knowing or understanding their own emotions. The Chamber! Goodness! I romanced Ferret myself (we love a cold, strong woman who’s ready to throw Hands) - and I’m looking forward to how that turns out.
If I could give a bit of constructive feedback? And I mean this in the kindest, most respectful way possible as I really like your idea and want to see it shine. (I also realize it’s a WIP) The transition from barely knowing words/feelings, to learning/experiencing them felt too brief for me. I didn’t get the Fullness of that struggle and it seems like my MC is more emotionally mature than they should be? I would really love both Ferret and MC trying to figure that out when they’ve been wholly denied it, not even knowing the concept of love/intimacy beyond books. Being unable to put words to things is something I’d like to see more as well. Getting frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, etc. If there’s physical intimacy (esp with Ferret) there should be so much trauma there when they only know that Chamber.
On that note, I felt a lot of the MC’s growth was less my choices through actions, and more plot-driven. I don’t really feel I had a hand in how they turned out, thus far. Maybe this will be more fleshed out in time/ this is just a ‘prologue’ for the ‘main’ story - but thought it worth mentioning.
I do hope that was helpful and I wish you all the best with this awesome Project!
Hello! Thank you for reading my story and for taking the time to give thoughtful feedback. I don’t mind, and I appreciate the tact and care you put into it! It’s difficult finding a good pace for the story—trying to give adequate time for growth yet also not belaboring the point.
Your MC is a bit more emotionally mature than other workers, due to the fact that you’re a healer. You’ve had more contact with others, both physical and spoken, than any other worker in any other job. Also, healers are the only workers who have mentors, so while the contact would have been the absolute minimum, it’s still more than most receive.
I don’t think that the chamber necessarily equates to heavy trauma, as that signifies some kind of emotional response. Certainly some would, as in Robin’s case, but most workers are simply numb—just as you don’t feel love, you also don’t feel the absence of it. But Ferret definitely has resentment over it. Her intimate scene is actually in the next chapter which drops this Thursday, so I’m curious what you’ll think.
And you’re correct, a lot of the choices are, by necessity, plot driven. In those instances I’ve tried to give a choice as to how you approach them—the action will have to occur either way, but your feelings going in make the difference. I can certainly try to add more choices like that.
Also, some of the scenes are a result of previous choices you’ve made. For example, whether or not you save the book from the fires, or how you respond to the idea of keeping away from the Circle for 2 weeks. Those and other scenes play out differently based on the persona you’ve cultivated.
But erm, this isn’t a prologue, lol, it is the main story. It’s actually close to conclusion. 😅
Thank you for responding! I’m glad you found no offense in my feedback; I went to art school and had my soul pile driven into the Abyss with the harshness of criticism, so I do value constructive critiques. I know this your baby, but it truly is a compliment I said anything at all!
That makes sense re: MC’s emotional intelligence/maturity given their profession. I actually like that! Perhaps I was confused since I thought Builders, etc. worked in groups as well - only Burners being the most ‘solitary’ in their work. But they also don’t talk, right? So even then, the human interaction is very remedial in my understanding. Maybe there’s an idea of ‘care’ for not wanting patients to get hurt, but love as a concept, for example, would still be difficult (it’s difficult for us now and we have so much more freedom than them!). I more so just wanted to see more of a struggle to coming to terms with a new range of emotions when their default seems to be primarily numb, anger, fear; or having the choice for it to be a struggle for your MC. The yellow heart/red heart could maybe be expanded for that?
Fair enough for the chamber. I guess that’s just additional choice I’d like to have. My MC seems they can hardly talk about it/want to think of it (and they’re also a woman) so that equated trauma for me - heavy or otherwise is interpretation because what do we consider ‘traumatic’ — it’s different for all of us. Numb could be an option, but given MC is more emotionally mature, I’d think that incite something. Could we decide that?
Also - sorry, I more so didn’t want to assume: a lot of IF writers do a first draft and then further flesh out later. That’s great if you’re almost finished! Thank you for considering what I said! Looking forward to Ferret chapter!
Hello, again! Yep, I remember my creative writing workshops from university, much of which I think I've repressed, lol.
Ahh, I see what you mean about the chamber and I can definitely try to expand on reactionary choices more. You weren't wrong when you thought a lot of this was plot-based. It's my first interactive fiction and it was based on a novella I wrote, so I often find myself drifting back into novel writing versus IF.
No worries on the first draft comment! I'm still new to the community and beginning to see a lot of WIPs and first drafts now, too. Especially since I created a Tumblr account. My interactive fiction world just opened up! 😳
Thank you again for explaining and for giving my story a try!
where are we able to save our progress? i love this so much!
Hello, I’m glad you’re enjoying it!
There is no save button, but the game does save your progress to your browser. One of my devlogs goes into it in more detail if you’re curious. I hope you’ll still enjoy it without that functionality!
Lion is my pookie <3 (i'm sorry i have prolonged exposure to that word i can't help it) anyways this made my day :)
This comment made my day, no apologies necessary! 😆 Lion is most definitely a pookie.
Thank you!
I stumbled across this looking for new IFs and I’m literally obsessed <3 I love ur writing, the world building and everything ab the characters you’ve created!! Heron and Lion have my heart <3 I’ve replayed it sm times already
Aww, I'm glad you found my IF, thank you! Lion and Heron are both difficult to resist. 😏 I'm happy to hear you enjoyed their routes and that you've replayed it!
This is an excellent WIP and I can't wait to see where you go with it. I've played Heron's route so far and will be playing through the others' as well, there's seriously no one I don't like, which is a first. Your writing is extremely good, especially your descriptions. If there's one extremely minor request I might make, would you be willing to include Starling as one of the name options the players can pick from? Haha, I'm only asking because the common starling is my favorite bird and I've got one as a pet that I've raised from a fledgeling that I found on the ground.
Hello and thank you! That's a wonderful compliment regarding the ROs, and I'm glad you enjoyed Heron's route!
I'm hesitant to include another bird name because I have so many already: Robin, Heron, Eagle, Lark, Wren, Hawk. I'm trying to keep a balanced selection and I've already got several on the drawing room floor, I'm sorry! I could easily go overboard on the birds if I allowed myself, lol. I absolutely love the fact that you've raised one, that's adorable! 🥹
Hey there and you're welcome~! Haha no problem at all, I completely get why you'd be hesitant in hindsight and it's a very valid reason~ No need to apologize, seriously, it was just a "hey, I wonder," sort of question, not one with any weight behind it at all :D It's hard not to, considering how incredible most birds really are~ Thank you! I've taken in and raised several unusual animals since I was a kid, comes from living in the country most of my life (and desert, now. XD) I've had Hector (my Starling, who's with me for as long as he wants to be,) a fruit bat I rescued from my pool and kept until it was able to fly again, tons of garter, red and blue racer snakes, a possum and a couple of skunks. ^.^ Now, it's just Hector, Twinkie (she's a tuxedo cat I've rased from a stray kitten) and a three-legged turtle named Yurtle. :D
Anyway, before I keep rambling nonsensically about animals and whatnot: seriously, the post-apocalyptic genre (and all its subgenres,) your way of writing and characterization is excellent; you've got yourself a new (pain in the ass, mind you :P) follower~
You’re not rambling, no worries, thank you for sharing! And a fruit bat? 😨 I grew up a city girl, any bats or snakes I saw were in the zoo, lol.
And you’re not a pain at all, not in the least! Thank you for being a follower and taking the time to write. It honestly means a great deal to me and I’m very appreciative! 🥹❤️
More Ferret romance please. She’s awesome.
I’m so glad you like Ferret! She gets her time to shine in chapter 10, which will drop this week.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
this was amazing! i love the writing and plot so much, i can't wait to read more of this!! i eat the childhood friend trope everytime, it's too good and Heron is adorable! thank you so much for your hardwork on this
You’re quite welcome, and thank you for reading and for the lovely comment! I’m right there with you on the childhood friend trope!
Also I think there’s a joke in there about eating up the childhood friend trope and Heron being a feeder 🤣
I adore Robin
Yay! I love finding Robinmancers!
This IF is incredibly written and is definitely one of my favourites I've read through on itch.io. So excited to see how you continue the story as I find the plot really interesting and unique! Loving Lion btw ^-^
Aww, thank you! I’m excited to share more with you! And excited to bring you more Lion, of course. 😉
AHHHHH I can't deal with this! Such a beautifully written story. The way you write is so immersive I completely lost myself in the world. Your characters are wonderful (Heron, beloved <3) thank you so much for sharing this!!
Thank you, that’s a wonderful compliment! I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed the story and characters. I love hearing how many people like Heron! He and Robin are the most changed from the original and it was a lot of fun developing both of them as ROs. Thanks again!
So good. Read it in one sitting. The mystery, the thrill, the twists. Perfection.
Thank you so much!
Omg this is incredible! You're amazing, thank you so much! Love all the characters but I tell you what Heron... Chiefs kiss 💋
Oh my goodness, thank you so much! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! And love me that childhood friend trope. 😉
I'M TORN BETWEEN HERON AND LION GAHHH I LOVE THIS IF PLEASE MORE <33
Haha, not a terrible problem to have! Thank you for the comment, more is coming soon!
lion the man you are
Yes. Yes, he is. 😎
every time hes in a scene im kicking my feet and twirling my hair
Lol, that is the BEST reaction, you made my day! 😆