One of the best IFs I have read. I can't wait for the new chapter. The plot is unique and intriguing; it's the first time I've read a story like this, which makes me excited to read more. My favorite LI is Lion. He feels like a giant teddy bear. I want to hug him so bad 🥺
Color me impressed 😲. The storyline is excellent! That twist about losing the faculty of speaking and reading and just critical thinking because it is forbidden to even speak to one another, that's genius! I like that twist on the apocalyptic scenario. I like that we are just worker with numbers as names and then pick an animal name as our first name. That's different and I like it very much 🥰. Thank you also for granting us more than a prologue and one chapter like many do. At least we can really taste the story and interact with the LI enough to make up our mind on their personalities.
I am so eager to read the rest. My guess on the bearded guard is that he is our progenitor and he feels "connected" to us as his offspring?
I like teasing Lion so much, Heron had potential to be our lover as our lost childhood friend but he was too apathic at first so I chose Lion for my first run. I would have liked Ferret better as a man as I prefer dating males but I can feel she has a lot of resentment which I totally understand after being raped and forced to bear a child. But we can say the same thing about males being forced to have sexual relationships with partners they don't even chose to begin with. The strength of your story resides in the depiction of such reality that can totally be plausible and that's horrifying to me.
Please dear author, tell me we will be able to choose our genitalia for the more intimate scenes which would help the dialogues in return with more accurate depiction of situations involving the gender such as the fact that if you are able to conceive then you are forced to carry a baby, or if you are a non-binary person with masculine attributes but are attracted to men then you are traumatized because you had to sleep with a woman, etc. That's just exemple. It can be the same with women being attracted to women and so on. I chose to be non-binary (with pecs and a penis) and I love Lion so I'd like my genitalia to be mentioned when intimate with him. That would be awesome 😎.
A back button and the possibility to save would be much appreciated too.
Oh by the way, I have other animal names to suggest:
Cat
Owl
Mouse
Horse
Tiger
Dragon
Cobra
Duck
Raccoon
Seal
Otter
Whale
Turkey
Hawk
Crow
Sparrow
Python
Iguana
Viper
Toad
Salmon
Molly
Bee
Crab
Snail
Thank you for your hard work, I hope we'll be able to read more soon.
I appreciate you taking the time to read and your thoughtful comment, thank you! If Heron seemed too apathetic at first than I wrote him right, lol. But I do have to say he opens up a lot in future chapters and scenes if you give him a chance. ❤️ Of course, Lion is my boo so I totally hear you. ☺️
I’ll have to think a bit on your suggestions. A lot of what you mentioned with the chamber does come out in future dialogues with your significant others. Robin’s route in particular deals heavily with chamber trauma, and Ferret’s deals with the aftermath.
And thank you for the name ideas! I realized I have a lot of mammals and birds, and not a lot of reptiles, amphibians or fish, so I’m going to incorporate a few more.
Thank you again, and I promise more is coming soon!
I enjoyed the story so much! But a little request, could we please have a back button? I sometimes click an option by incident, and if I want to change that, I'll have to start all over again, which is annoying, but apart from that, great work and the music fits perfectly with the plot! Love it <3
Thank you so much! Unfortunately, Chapbook doesn’t allow for a back button the way other Twine programs do. I wish I could include that. I’m glad you’re enjoying the music and story, and thank you for sticking with it in spite of the drawbacks!
Hello and thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it! I’m sorry, Chapbook doesn’t offer a save system beyond the single browser save that is built in. You’re not the first to ask and I wish I could do that myself. But thank you for supporting and following my story in spite of that downside!
I've reread this.....and I don't regret it.. it's so good! I'm excited for more ✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧.
I wonder, is it possible for the MC to have a name...like a proper one in the upcoming chapters? and a save system would be wonderful.... However if it's not possible, I have no issues playing this masterpiece again and again.
(Spoiler ahead???!)
Just wondering...the nice old guard...feels like MC's father..? (●__●)
Hello again, thank you for returning! ❤️ You do get to name your MC in Chapter 6. Hopefully you didn’t miss the customizable link, I’m attaching a screenshot in case it wasn’t clear.
It’s not a “proper” name in that it’s not like names you and I have, but it is your name. These characters wouldn’t understand conventional names, they’d be like gibberish. Everyone has animal names because they would have read about animals and choose an animal they identify with. I tried to give a wide range of animals to choose from, but your name choice is limited to those. If you have other suggestions for animal names, I’d be happy to include them!
As far as the guard… you’ll have to wait and see! 😉
¡¡ES HERMOSO!! Encontré belleza en cada párrafo que leía. La música acompaña muy bien al texto y hacía que las palabras movieran mi interior, algunas veces llevándome cerca de las lágrimas.
La experiencia ha sido bastante entretenida hasta ahora y me emociona mucho pensar en las siguientes actualizaciones. ¡¡INCREÍBLE TRABAJO!!
I'm so slow it took until the beginning of chapter four for (SPOILERS)
Me to realize Heron was our bff 💀 Also I LOVE how we can choose between platonic and romantic choices because I played a game recently that had decisions auto-romance and it felt like I was neglecting the character that should be the main character's friend (also platonic relationships are so underrated as someone who doesn't have friends lol) Also the "chamber" line was so short yet so disturbing in such a good way!! So glad you're reviving this thing after 25 YEARS. Also with the healer using plants as medicine, will there be a choice later on for the healer to take an interest in poisons? /nf
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! This story has always been special to me and it’s been a joy to revive it and see the amazing response! Glad the bff came as a surprise to you, lol. And I’m glad you’re enjoying the platonic routes, they’re so influential in their own way.
You know, I never even considered poison. 🧐 Hmm, I’ll have to brainstorm that. Thank you for the suggestion!
Omg thanks for listening to the suggestion! I was thinking of having a "no knowledge is bad knowledge" healer so I think the poison one would be important for players who would like a healer interested in the deadly side of plants! Also, the platonic relationships are so good I'm making an aromantic healer lol /vvpos!!
this game is amazing!!! it's a pity i can only give five stars, i would have given you a hundred, adore this story!
The writing style is good, simple and effective. I love the diary entries that gives us the backstory, instead of the story being too cryptic or a whole page of exposition.
The characters are super fun and i can't wait to read more. i'm so happy to have found this right now and i'm looking forward to read more. <33
Also, incredible art and good music choice, nice background "noise" and not distracting
Thank you soo much for your comment! I’m really glad you enjoyed the journal entries and characters, as well as the music. I wanted to help convey the mood but it was very important to me not to distract from the story, so that’s nice to hear. Thank you for taking the time to read, more coming soon, I promise!
Aww, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! That was actually difficult to write because I’d use certain words and have to stop myself, wait, they wouldn’t know that! 😂
Okay wow. I'm literally so in love with this story, oh my god?????? The writing, the character design, this story is EVERYTHING!!! I can't wait for more ❤️❤️
(p.s, the old guard having our chosen eye colour consistently throughout every gameplay makes me wonder if he's related to us...🤭)
Usually for me good plot is second to good character design, but this has both in spades! Thank you so much for making this wonderful game, I can't wait for chapter 8!
Such unique and wonderful world building. I love the small journal entries that give glimpses into how all of these practises started. The characters are well written and I'm looking forward to reading more about them.
One thing I sorely miss in the game is a save function. Sometimes when playing on a mobile browser (huge thanks for making the book really mobile friendly!), pausing the read and then returning restarts the game.
Hello, and thank you for taking the time to read my story! I’m glad you’re enjoying the characters and the journal entries! I built this using Chapbook and one of the reasons I chose that software is because it is very mobile-friendly, so I’m glad to hear that. Chapbook does automatically save your progress within the browser—it shouldn’t be restarting for you, even if you close the browser tab, so that’s odd. The only reason it resets is if you’re switching from one browser to another, switching between devices, or if you clear your browser cache. Otherwise it should be saving. Chapbook does not offer a manual save slot though, but you’re definitely not the first to request it, so hopefully with so many in favor of it we’ll get it in a future update!
Thank you for the reply! I think I might have cleared my cache, so that probably caused the restart!
I enjoy the game very much as is, but if you decide to include the save function that'd be a huge plus but no pressure though! I'm just really happy about the game being mobile friendly so no change is worth that in my book! :)
Also a major point that I like to add. I have a medical issue in my hand that makes it very twitchy and shaky sometimes. I sometimes click on things by accident so many times a day. I don't want to have to restart from the very beginning if I accidently click something or even just make a choice I end up hating. I just started playing this a bit ago and had to restart about 7 times already because of it.
(I’ll try to speak in a way which will not contain any spoilers)
Just found this hidden gem that was just published 2 days ago?? Consider myself lucky.
I really hope this adventure of a story blows up into the public eye! Early in development yet it’s already really great.
The story and setting is phenomenal and unique, the writing is neat and well-done. Conveying emotions and details with descriptive but simple writing! It’s truly impressive, and I can’t wait to see more from you!
Apocalyptic and dystopian-based stories or genres tend to be a favorite of mine, so this story caught me into its magnificent webs from the start. Just by reading the description, I already knew it was going be something wonderful.
I’ll attempt to go through every part possible, considering each character has got me hook line and sinker. Captivating and charming with life, I want to get to know all of them!
Thank you for posting this masterpiece, Fir & Fireweed!
(If you can, a relationship status-checker of sorts would be neat to see how you are with a character! Or a codex if the reader may have forgotten something relating to the lore of the story.)
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words! I’m always happy to find other dystopian/post-apocalyptic fans. ;) And I’m very happy to hear you’re enjoying the characters and world.
Chapbook is a little limiting in the extras I can do, so I’m not sure how the character stat checker would work, I’ll have to think on that. But I do love the idea of a codex and I can easily add that the same way the character stats are at the bottom. Thank you for the suggestions and for taking the time to comment!
Would love a save system if doable! I'm loving this so far. I did notice in the scene where Lion speaks to the three new friends as an introduction for the circle (forget what chapter sorry) I believe my Healer was referred to with she/her pronouns for a paragraph when I was playing as just a worker. (I don't remember specifying what I might present as or anything? I believe it was the one where Lion says they can trust him as they do my character.)
Oh, good catch on the pronouns in that chapter! I tend to write with a female MC just to get the story down, then go back and code those parts. Looks like I missed the coding in that paragraph. Thanks for pointing it out!
I built this in Chapbook and it unfortunately doesn’t feature a multiple save system. I agree that it is handy; I use multiple saves myself when I play other IFs. Sorry about that and I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thank you!
Okay, so I never leave comments on pieces of work. I always just like to read them and let others comment their mutual appreciation to the author. But after reading this and reading your bio, (I always like to click on the author's profile of any IFs I like to see if they have any other work or recommendations), I felt like I just had to write my admiration of what you've written so far, so I created an account on itch.io just for it!
Everything is amazing so far, dystopian/post-apocalyptic are one of my favorite genres so my interest was peaked immediately. Kudos to both you and your sister for the awesome story telling, this reminds me of Fahrenheit 451, but it's still unique in another way. I love the switching back and forth between the MC and the diary entries of the first settlers of The City; it's interesting to see the development of what first started out as a way to help guide people and rebuild society, only to turn into something so controlling, restrictive, and what seems to be far away from the initial intentions of the author of the diary entries.
The art is great, Isabela did an amazing job with that! I kept the story and this page on different tabs so that I can switch between to look at the characters again and imagine them better in my head as I continued reading. And the music fits perfectly with the story as well! I'm romancing Ferret and as I was imagining her scene in the rain, I couldn't help but notice the music you paired with it had fit so well. It felt like watching a dramatic scene from movie!
The only small critique I have is that I would like for there to be a place where I can click, save, and load my progress at different points of the story.
For the amount of effort you've clearly put into this, from the writing to the commissioned art to the pairing of music to different scenes, it's hard to believe that this if your first IF! I can't wait to see where you take this story and the interactions we'll get to have with the other characters. After finishing this story, if you ever decide to make any other IFs, you can guarantee I'll read those as well.
Astounding job so far, keep up with the good work!
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your lovely and thoughtful words! I’m honored that my story was the first you commented on! This story has always had a special place in my heart and it’s honestly been a lot of fun rewriting as an IF, and it makes me so happy to hear others enjoying it! When I wrote this years ago I was definitely a big dystopian fan myself, and novels like Fahrenheit 451 and 1984 were a big influence on me, so I’m not surprised you caught those vibes.
And I definitely agree, it would be nice to have save files, but unfortunately Chapbook doesn’t support that feature. I went with Chapbook because it’s easiest to learn, but I also really like the way the display looks more like a novel, and I’m old school, lol. But I agree with you that it’s a bit of a bummer not to have that feature.
I’m glad you like the music and art, too! I feel so fortunate to have found Isabela, she really is talented!
Thank you again for the comment, you made my day! ❤️
Thank you for the reply! And as I said, after reading this work, I couldn't not show my adoration for it, so I'm glad to have this work to be the first (and quite possibly only) one I commented on.
And that makes sense about Chapbook, I've never made IFs of any kind nor know anything about Twine, so I'm good to just be able to read this in the first place. I've seen other comments asking about the save system as well, but there's no pressure to try to create one. If I want to remake a choice, I'll happily just quickly replay. I've done that plenty of times with other IFs when the last save point I made was further back in the story than I thought. And I agree about the novel-like format of Chapbook, it seems to fit with the writing well!
Dystopia/post-apocalypse is definitely an amazing genre, I used to take a class entirely focused on dystopian writing. Fahrenheit 451 is a great book, I've read it multiple times, though I can only say I read about a third of 1984 because the interactions and thought processes of Winston and Julia were kind of... uncomfortable. Though I can understand fans of book because from what I remember, the world 1984 created was very interesting and I saw many parallel concepts to real life.
I'm also glad that this is the kind of story that you've already written before and are remaking into an IF, meaning it's more likely that you'll actually finish this. It's so hard to find good quality and completed IFs on itch.io... 😭
Oh, there was also another compliment I forgot to give in my last comment! I thought the animal naming was really creative, it makes sense that everyone would name themselves after something they've only read in books. I didn't even connect the dots that they were all named after animals until I got to that part of the story. 😅And I had never seen the limited option of what to name yourself before, most other IFs allow you to type your own name into it, so I was surprised about that!
I completely agree about the unfinished IFs here. It makes me sad when I find an excellent story, then realize that the last update was years ago. 😭 After building this in Twine I do have a better understanding of the work and time it takes, especially if you’re doing branching paths. That being said, yes, this will definitely be a finished IF! Chapters 8 and 9 together will be the next update and I anticipate that in a couple of weeks.
Also I’m glad you liked the naming conventions! I was a little concerned about limiting your own name, because you’re right, most IFs you can choose your own. So I tried to give a breadth of interesting choices.
I’ve replayed so many times just to play different routes/choices. They are all so endearing, I am excited for more! As a mobile-player I appreciate how accessible/easy to use the interface is for my browser (:
Thank you so much! I love that you’ve tried different routes, and I can promise you’ll definitely have more unique character moments in future chapters. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
This is already so good! You have done such a good job with he characters and I have fallen involve with all of them <3 Can already see how different they are and looking forward to see what happens
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One of the best IFs I have read. I can't wait for the new chapter. The plot is unique and intriguing; it's the first time I've read a story like this, which makes me excited to read more. My favorite LI is Lion. He feels like a giant teddy bear. I want to hug him so bad 🥺
Aww, thank you so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying it. And I have to admit, Lion is my favorite, too. 😉 More is coming soon!
Holy crap this was so good!
Thank you!!
Color me impressed 😲. The storyline is excellent! That twist about losing the faculty of speaking and reading and just critical thinking because it is forbidden to even speak to one another, that's genius! I like that twist on the apocalyptic scenario. I like that we are just worker with numbers as names and then pick an animal name as our first name. That's different and I like it very much 🥰. Thank you also for granting us more than a prologue and one chapter like many do. At least we can really taste the story and interact with the LI enough to make up our mind on their personalities.
I am so eager to read the rest. My guess on the bearded guard is that he is our progenitor and he feels "connected" to us as his offspring?
I like teasing Lion so much, Heron had potential to be our lover as our lost childhood friend but he was too apathic at first so I chose Lion for my first run. I would have liked Ferret better as a man as I prefer dating males but I can feel she has a lot of resentment which I totally understand after being raped and forced to bear a child. But we can say the same thing about males being forced to have sexual relationships with partners they don't even chose to begin with. The strength of your story resides in the depiction of such reality that can totally be plausible and that's horrifying to me.
Please dear author, tell me we will be able to choose our genitalia for the more intimate scenes which would help the dialogues in return with more accurate depiction of situations involving the gender such as the fact that if you are able to conceive then you are forced to carry a baby, or if you are a non-binary person with masculine attributes but are attracted to men then you are traumatized because you had to sleep with a woman, etc. That's just exemple. It can be the same with women being attracted to women and so on. I chose to be non-binary (with pecs and a penis) and I love Lion so I'd like my genitalia to be mentioned when intimate with him. That would be awesome 😎.
A back button and the possibility to save would be much appreciated too.
Oh by the way, I have other animal names to suggest:
Cat
Owl
Mouse
Horse
Tiger
Dragon
Cobra
Duck
Raccoon
Seal
Otter
Whale
Turkey
Hawk
Crow
Sparrow
Python
Iguana
Viper
Toad
Salmon
Molly
Bee
Crab
Snail
Thank you for your hard work, I hope we'll be able to read more soon.
I appreciate you taking the time to read and your thoughtful comment, thank you! If Heron seemed too apathetic at first than I wrote him right, lol. But I do have to say he opens up a lot in future chapters and scenes if you give him a chance. ❤️ Of course, Lion is my boo so I totally hear you. ☺️
I’ll have to think a bit on your suggestions. A lot of what you mentioned with the chamber does come out in future dialogues with your significant others. Robin’s route in particular deals heavily with chamber trauma, and Ferret’s deals with the aftermath.
And thank you for the name ideas! I realized I have a lot of mammals and birds, and not a lot of reptiles, amphibians or fish, so I’m going to incorporate a few more.
Thank you again, and I promise more is coming soon!
I enjoyed the story so much! But a little request, could we please have a back button? I sometimes click an option by incident, and if I want to change that, I'll have to start all over again, which is annoying, but apart from that, great work and the music fits perfectly with the plot! Love it <3
Thank you so much! Unfortunately, Chapbook doesn’t allow for a back button the way other Twine programs do. I wish I could include that. I’m glad you’re enjoying the music and story, and thank you for sticking with it in spite of the drawbacks!
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH :'D it's amazingly made, and the characters are so sweet and ugh, I love them :D I'm looking forward to the next chapters :D
I only wish we had a save system.
Hello and thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it! I’m sorry, Chapbook doesn’t offer a save system beyond the single browser save that is built in. You’re not the first to ask and I wish I could do that myself. But thank you for supporting and following my story in spite of that downside!
I've reread this.....and I don't regret it.. it's so good! I'm excited for more ✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧.
I wonder, is it possible for the MC to have a name...like a proper one in the upcoming chapters? and a save system would be wonderful.... However if it's not possible, I have no issues playing this masterpiece again and again.
(Spoiler ahead???!)
Just wondering...the nice old guard...feels like MC's father..? (●__●)
Hello again, thank you for returning! ❤️ You do get to name your MC in Chapter 6. Hopefully you didn’t miss the customizable link, I’m attaching a screenshot in case it wasn’t clear.
It’s not a “proper” name in that it’s not like names you and I have, but it is your name. These characters wouldn’t understand conventional names, they’d be like gibberish. Everyone has animal names because they would have read about animals and choose an animal they identify with. I tried to give a wide range of animals to choose from, but your name choice is limited to those. If you have other suggestions for animal names, I’d be happy to include them!
As far as the guard… you’ll have to wait and see! 😉
¡¡ES HERMOSO!! Encontré belleza en cada párrafo que leía. La música acompaña muy bien al texto y hacía que las palabras movieran mi interior, algunas veces llevándome cerca de las lágrimas.
La experiencia ha sido bastante entretenida hasta ahora y me emociona mucho pensar en las siguientes actualizaciones. ¡¡INCREÍBLE TRABAJO!!
Haha I had to Google translate this but it was so worth it! 🥰 Thank you for the lovely comment! I’m glad you’re enjoying the music and story!
I'm so slow it took until the beginning of chapter four for (SPOILERS)
Me to realize Heron was our bff 💀 Also I LOVE how we can choose between platonic and romantic choices because I played a game recently that had decisions auto-romance and it felt like I was neglecting the character that should be the main character's friend (also platonic relationships are so underrated as someone who doesn't have friends lol) Also the "chamber" line was so short yet so disturbing in such a good way!! So glad you're reviving this thing after 25 YEARS. Also with the healer using plants as medicine, will there be a choice later on for the healer to take an interest in poisons? /nf
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! This story has always been special to me and it’s been a joy to revive it and see the amazing response! Glad the bff came as a surprise to you, lol. And I’m glad you’re enjoying the platonic routes, they’re so influential in their own way.
You know, I never even considered poison. 🧐 Hmm, I’ll have to brainstorm that. Thank you for the suggestion!
Omg thanks for listening to the suggestion! I was thinking of having a "no knowledge is bad knowledge" healer so I think the poison one would be important for players who would like a healer interested in the deadly side of plants! Also, the platonic relationships are so good I'm making an aromantic healer lol /vvpos!!
this game is amazing!!! it's a pity i can only give five stars, i would have given you a hundred, adore this story!
The writing style is good, simple and effective. I love the diary entries that gives us the backstory, instead of the story being too cryptic or a whole page of exposition.
The characters are super fun and i can't wait to read more. i'm so happy to have found this right now and i'm looking forward to read more. <33
Also, incredible art and good music choice, nice background "noise" and not distracting
Thank you soo much for your comment! I’m really glad you enjoyed the journal entries and characters, as well as the music. I wanted to help convey the mood but it was very important to me not to distract from the story, so that’s nice to hear. Thank you for taking the time to read, more coming soon, I promise!
I love it! Them learning how to talk is so cute for some reason 🥰.
Aww, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! That was actually difficult to write because I’d use certain words and have to stop myself, wait, they wouldn’t know that! 😂
IT'S SO GOOD!! AND IT'S ONLY A DEMO??! AAAAH CAN'T WAIT FOR MOREEE!!!!
This made me smile, thank you!
Absolutely loved it!!! It's so cute, can't wait for more!!!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! I’m glad you’re enjoying it!
A solid 10000/10 so far~
Thank you for this masterpiece<3
Oh wow, thank YOU! It has truly been a pleasure and a humbling experience to write, and I’m glad you’re enjoying it!
🫶🏻🫶🏻
Okay wow. I'm literally so in love with this story, oh my god?????? The writing, the character design, this story is EVERYTHING!!! I can't wait for more ❤️❤️
(p.s, the old guard having our chosen eye colour consistently throughout every gameplay makes me wonder if he's related to us...🤭)
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment! This makes me so happy, I’m glad you like it!
And you noticed that, hmm? Just have to wait and see! 😎😉
Absolutely love the story! <3<3<3
Usually for me good plot is second to good character design, but this has both in spades! Thank you so much for making this wonderful game, I can't wait for chapter 8!
Thank you so much, I’m glad you’re enjoying it!
Such unique and wonderful world building. I love the small journal entries that give glimpses into how all of these practises started. The characters are well written and I'm looking forward to reading more about them.
One thing I sorely miss in the game is a save function. Sometimes when playing on a mobile browser (huge thanks for making the book really mobile friendly!), pausing the read and then returning restarts the game.
I am really looking forward to reading more!
Hello, and thank you for taking the time to read my story! I’m glad you’re enjoying the characters and the journal entries!
I built this using Chapbook and one of the reasons I chose that software is because it is very mobile-friendly, so I’m glad to hear that. Chapbook does automatically save your progress within the browser—it shouldn’t be restarting for you, even if you close the browser tab, so that’s odd. The only reason it resets is if you’re switching from one browser to another, switching between devices, or if you clear your browser cache. Otherwise it should be saving. Chapbook does not offer a manual save slot though, but you’re definitely not the first to request it, so hopefully with so many in favor of it we’ll get it in a future update!
Thank you for the reply! I think I might have cleared my cache, so that probably caused the restart!
I enjoy the game very much as is, but if you decide to include the save function that'd be a huge plus but no pressure though! I'm just really happy about the game being mobile friendly so no change is worth that in my book! :)
Also a major point that I like to add. I have a medical issue in my hand that makes it very twitchy and shaky sometimes. I sometimes click on things by accident so many times a day. I don't want to have to restart from the very beginning if I accidently click something or even just make a choice I end up hating. I just started playing this a bit ago and had to restart about 7 times already because of it.
(I’ll try to speak in a way which will not contain any spoilers)
Just found this hidden gem that was just published 2 days ago?? Consider myself lucky.
I really hope this adventure of a story blows up into the public eye! Early in development yet it’s already really great.
The story and setting is phenomenal and unique, the writing is neat and well-done. Conveying emotions and details with descriptive but simple writing! It’s truly impressive, and I can’t wait to see more from you!
Apocalyptic and dystopian-based stories or genres tend to be a favorite of mine, so this story caught me into its magnificent webs from the start. Just by reading the description, I already knew it was going be something wonderful.
I’ll attempt to go through every part possible, considering each character has got me hook line and sinker. Captivating and charming with life, I want to get to know all of them!
Thank you for posting this masterpiece, Fir & Fireweed!
(If you can, a relationship status-checker of sorts would be neat to see how you are with a character! Or a codex if the reader may have forgotten something relating to the lore of the story.)
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words! I’m always happy to find other dystopian/post-apocalyptic fans. ;) And I’m very happy to hear you’re enjoying the characters and world.
Chapbook is a little limiting in the extras I can do, so I’m not sure how the character stat checker would work, I’ll have to think on that. But I do love the idea of a codex and I can easily add that the same way the character stats are at the bottom. Thank you for the suggestions and for taking the time to comment!
Would love a save system if doable! I'm loving this so far. I did notice in the scene where Lion speaks to the three new friends as an introduction for the circle (forget what chapter sorry) I believe my Healer was referred to with she/her pronouns for a paragraph when I was playing as just a worker. (I don't remember specifying what I might present as or anything? I believe it was the one where Lion says they can trust him as they do my character.)
Oh, good catch on the pronouns in that chapter! I tend to write with a female MC just to get the story down, then go back and code those parts. Looks like I missed the coding in that paragraph. Thanks for pointing it out!
I built this in Chapbook and it unfortunately doesn’t feature a multiple save system. I agree that it is handy; I use multiple saves myself when I play other IFs. Sorry about that and I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thank you!
Warning: Small Spoilers!
Okay, so I never leave comments on pieces of work. I always just like to read them and let others comment their mutual appreciation to the author. But after reading this and reading your bio, (I always like to click on the author's profile of any IFs I like to see if they have any other work or recommendations), I felt like I just had to write my admiration of what you've written so far, so I created an account on itch.io just for it!
Everything is amazing so far, dystopian/post-apocalyptic are one of my favorite genres so my interest was peaked immediately. Kudos to both you and your sister for the awesome story telling, this reminds me of Fahrenheit 451, but it's still unique in another way. I love the switching back and forth between the MC and the diary entries of the first settlers of The City; it's interesting to see the development of what first started out as a way to help guide people and rebuild society, only to turn into something so controlling, restrictive, and what seems to be far away from the initial intentions of the author of the diary entries.
The art is great, Isabela did an amazing job with that! I kept the story and this page on different tabs so that I can switch between to look at the characters again and imagine them better in my head as I continued reading. And the music fits perfectly with the story as well! I'm romancing Ferret and as I was imagining her scene in the rain, I couldn't help but notice the music you paired with it had fit so well. It felt like watching a dramatic scene from movie!
The only small critique I have is that I would like for there to be a place where I can click, save, and load my progress at different points of the story.
For the amount of effort you've clearly put into this, from the writing to the commissioned art to the pairing of music to different scenes, it's hard to believe that this if your first IF! I can't wait to see where you take this story and the interactions we'll get to have with the other characters. After finishing this story, if you ever decide to make any other IFs, you can guarantee I'll read those as well.
Astounding job so far, keep up with the good work!
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your lovely and thoughtful words! I’m honored that my story was the first you commented on! This story has always had a special place in my heart and it’s honestly been a lot of fun rewriting as an IF, and it makes me so happy to hear others enjoying it! When I wrote this years ago I was definitely a big dystopian fan myself, and novels like Fahrenheit 451 and 1984 were a big influence on me, so I’m not surprised you caught those vibes.
And I definitely agree, it would be nice to have save files, but unfortunately Chapbook doesn’t support that feature. I went with Chapbook because it’s easiest to learn, but I also really like the way the display looks more like a novel, and I’m old school, lol. But I agree with you that it’s a bit of a bummer not to have that feature.
I’m glad you like the music and art, too! I feel so fortunate to have found Isabela, she really is talented!
Thank you again for the comment, you made my day! ❤️
Thank you for the reply! And as I said, after reading this work, I couldn't not show my adoration for it, so I'm glad to have this work to be the first (and quite possibly only) one I commented on.
And that makes sense about Chapbook, I've never made IFs of any kind nor know anything about Twine, so I'm good to just be able to read this in the first place. I've seen other comments asking about the save system as well, but there's no pressure to try to create one. If I want to remake a choice, I'll happily just quickly replay. I've done that plenty of times with other IFs when the last save point I made was further back in the story than I thought. And I agree about the novel-like format of Chapbook, it seems to fit with the writing well!
Dystopia/post-apocalypse is definitely an amazing genre, I used to take a class entirely focused on dystopian writing. Fahrenheit 451 is a great book, I've read it multiple times, though I can only say I read about a third of 1984 because the interactions and thought processes of Winston and Julia were kind of... uncomfortable. Though I can understand fans of book because from what I remember, the world 1984 created was very interesting and I saw many parallel concepts to real life.
I'm also glad that this is the kind of story that you've already written before and are remaking into an IF, meaning it's more likely that you'll actually finish this. It's so hard to find good quality and completed IFs on itch.io... 😭
Oh, there was also another compliment I forgot to give in my last comment! I thought the animal naming was really creative, it makes sense that everyone would name themselves after something they've only read in books. I didn't even connect the dots that they were all named after animals until I got to that part of the story. 😅And I had never seen the limited option of what to name yourself before, most other IFs allow you to type your own name into it, so I was surprised about that!
I completely agree about the unfinished IFs here. It makes me sad when I find an excellent story, then realize that the last update was years ago. 😭 After building this in Twine I do have a better understanding of the work and time it takes, especially if you’re doing branching paths. That being said, yes, this will definitely be a finished IF! Chapters 8 and 9 together will be the next update and I anticipate that in a couple of weeks.
Also I’m glad you liked the naming conventions! I was a little concerned about limiting your own name, because you’re right, most IFs you can choose your own. So I tried to give a breadth of interesting choices.
Thank you, again!
I’ve replayed so many times just to play different routes/choices. They are all so endearing, I am excited for more! As a mobile-player I appreciate how accessible/easy to use the interface is for my browser (:
Thank you so much! I love that you’ve tried different routes, and I can promise you’ll definitely have more unique character moments in future chapters. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
This is already so good! You have done such a good job with he characters and I have fallen involve with all of them <3 Can already see how different they are and looking forward to see what happens
Thank you, I’m glad you’re enjoying it!